Scary Stuff: Overcoming the Sin of Silence
“I’m scared to say anything.” I mean, I get it. I’ve spent all of my 45 years as a white woman, arguably the demographic most conditioned to “make nice.” Even as a pastor’s kid, I was taught that bringing up religion, politics and money in front of others is not advisable. I spent my high school years yearning for acceptance and affirmation. In college, I joined a sorority and did my best to fit into the culture. I entered my 20s with the understanding that I was a strong and independent woman, but that friendships and attention from the opposite sex were also really important things to attain. I learned that the easiest ways to have lots of friendships is to never upset anyone, and the easiest way to not upset anyone is to keep my observations, experiences and opinions to myself.
So, I get it. Speaking up is hard. We only want to do it when we can express ourselves perfectly and in a way that no one can disagree. In other words, we create standards for speaking up that are nearly impossible to meet. If we are fortunate enough to find ourselves in leadership roles, the allure of silence becomes even stronger because we feel a duty to not be the cause of conflict…especially as a female leader. The pressures to remain silent loom large in a world that seems to reward the quietness of middle-of-the-roadism.
In light of these realities, we must ask ourselves about our own personal thresholds for silence-keeping. Do we have the confidence to speak up when we believe that something is not right? What about speaking up when we know something is wrong, but speaking up would mean taking the less popular position? When are we willing to ditch the safety and comfort of silence? Who are we willing to upset to say the things that we believe should be said?
There is a lot happening in our world right now. Things are moving quickly, at a pace that makes the head spin if we try to keep up. I suspect that is intentional, as it keeps us off guard and leaves us longing to retreat and get our bearings. In the United States alone, we are seeing a rapid flow of executive orders, and a cascade of federal layoffs, confirmations, tariff wars, ICE raids, along with the attempted erasure of trans people, halting of funding for research and foreign aid, and on and on and on… We struggle to stay up to date on the headlines, let alone have the time and capacity to research, fact check and mentally process all that is happening.
As a pastor, I find myself thinking daily about what merits comment from a religious leader. It’s impossible to provide commentary on everything happening at home and abroad, so how do I know when to speak and what to say? Silence would certainly be an easy path in a time of such turbulence and division. The congregation I serve has democrats, republicans, libertarians, and political “nones” in its membership. It is a rare thing to have a congregation with this kind of makeup these days, and I feel a distinct responsilbity to try to hold us together as a community as the divisions outside the doors of our church grow wider by the day. As such, I recognize that any speaking up is likely to anger someone who may want to cancel me or leave our community. So what do I do?
As silly as it sounds, I have found myself thinking back to the green “WWJD” bracelet that I wore my freshman year of college. In a moment like this, asking “What would Jesus do?” feels like the most helpful starting place. As I have leaned into this question more, I know that Jesus always seemed to start from a place that prioritized the poor, the marginalized and those who had been made outcasts of communities. If this is my starting place, I have observed some changes in the past several weeks that call for speech over silence, including but not limited to:
The cessation of fundings for providing food and medicine to the poorest nations in the world, including to children in active war zones.
Deregulation of protections for our environment and our food, which research and history show always affects the poorest among us first.
The demonization, rounding up, detainment and mass deportation of immigrants, including children and asylum seekers.
The elimination of programs and policies that seek to overcome the harmful past in this nation by creating more fair and equitable opportunities for education and employment for women, people of color, those with disabilities and non-Christians.
Silence can be understood as permission, acquiescence and/or agreement. In his years of ministry, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King noted that silence can be the cozy haven of our sin. He famously said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” The hidden question here is whether the “things” being referenced here have to affect me and the people I love in order for them to matter enough for me to break my silence?
The actions of Jesus and the words of MLK have served as important reminders that we are called to speak up about injustices even when they don’t affect us personally. And you know what? That’s really hard to do. To speak up on behalf of others with experiences that differ from your own is an intimidating call to answer. It requires listening intently to the experiences of others and then being willing to risk conflict for the sake of them. Many of us find it hard to even speak up in our own defense on controversial issues.
I realize that the call to use our voices right now is an intimidating call to issue. So much feels dangerous and uncertain in this season. However, it is precisely because of the chaos and fear, the very things that make this a scary call to issue, that no moment in my lifetime has ever felt more critical for engagement and speaking out about the harms we are seeing in the present. This is no time for silence. There is too much at stake. Now is a time for bravery – for prayer and discernment and the honing of a prophetic voice that dares to speak up in the face of cruelty and injustice. As witnesses to the Gospel, I believe that the words in Paul’s letter to the Philippians speak to us through the ages, “Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence but much more now in my absence, work on your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13)
May God inspire us to be prayerful, thoughtful, confident and brave in how we use our voices in these days. Now, let’s hear what you have to say!
